Ten essential oils to increase love and open the heart

Posted by Jo Harris on







Who doesn't want more of these in their life?

February is the month of love; love for another, a partner, a child, a family member, an animal, but most of all oneself. If we can't love ourselves fully, we have little hope in being able to healthily love another. So it starts with ourselves. Just as in EFT (tapping) commonly, the healing starts by saying "I deeply and completely love and accept myself". 

So this month, being the month love is celebrated around the world, let's look into how to use essential oils to open our heart.

But first let's look at what it means to open our heart.

When you are having a difficult time, do you put your hand on your heart and breathe deeply into it and listen? If not, try this next time. Try it when you need to make a difficult decision and see if your heart speaks to you. It may not give you the easy answer, but it will give you the truth if you have the patience and courage to listen. 

Another part of opening your heart is the concept of holding space. Do you hold space for yourself? Try it. This just means to treat yourself with kindness, compassion, forgiveness and create a safe space for yourself to just be present. No judgement or criticism required or welcome. Be your own best and loving friend.  

When our heart is open, we have an infinite capacity to LOVE, to be with others and to attract the life and LOVE that we desire. We are able to forgive and heal and allow ourselves to feel both the good and bad. We are courageous and not held back by fear. We are not ruled by our brains or our minds but rather our hearts. We are open and we allow ourselves to be vulnerable (as scary as we might think that might be). 

Opening our heart means being comfortable with what is, surrendering to the present, rather than wanting something else. 

So let's look at 10 essential oils which can help in this practice of opening the heart. Rose, lavender, geranium, jasmine, sweet marjoramylang ylang, melissa, bergamot, frankincense and benzoin  are all wonderful oils for this, all quite different though. All these oils are great for increasing self-love or love for others or attracting the love you desire.

Rose has to be the number one oil for opening the heart. It allows our heart energy to flow so we can give love unconditionally. It is very elevating and gives us a sense of wellbeing. According to Gabriel Mojay, it calms, supports and nourishes the heart. It is the best oil to heal emotional wounds. "Bringing warmth to a soul grown cold through abuse or hurt, rose oil can touch the deepest despair, restoring the trust that makes it possible to love again".  According to Margaret Ann Lembo "rose is a reminder that love is the answer to all" and it encourages kindness and compassion. 

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Rose oil has the highest vibration of all essential oils at 320mhz (it is believed the highest frequency in the universe is love which is around 528mhz).

How to use: It is an expensive oil so is best used to inhale- 1 drop on a tissue or diluted in a roll-on.

Lavender warms, soothes and supports the heart (Gabriel Mojay), is nurturing and increases trust. It is also calming and reduces anxiety. According to Robbi Zeck, lavender "brings nourishment and heartening reassurance".  Margaret Ann Lembo states that using lavender oil can help to "remove negative energy and replace it with blessings and love".

How to use:  Lavender is a versatile oil which can be used in various ways from the bath, to the diffuser to diluted in a body oil.

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Geranium is the oil for trust and love. It is balancing, harmonizing and emotionally healing but also sensual. It is very calming and it also helps restore our confidence in the world. According to Gabriel Mojay, geranium "helps to reconnect us to our feeling-life - to our emotional sensitivity, relaxed spontaneity, and healthy thirst for pleasure and enjoyment". According to Margaret Ann Lembo, it keeps negative energy at bay. Valerie Ann Worwood says "geranium offers its warm hand of comfort, opening our hearts and memories and healing the pain". 

How to use: Geranium is a versatile oil, great for the bath (up to 10 drops in 1/2 to 1 cup epsom salts), used as a perfume (diluted at 3%), in a diffuser or in a body oil diluted at 1 to 2%. 

Jasmine with its comforting and joyous aroma, encourages us to love and honour ourselves and others. It also allows us to be intimate and trusting and according to Gabriel Mojay, dissolves our fears including those of "inadequacy and undesirability", "can support, reassure and delight" and "allows the heart to flow again". According to  Margaret Ann Lembo, jasmine helps to "renew self confidence" and courage and allows us to feel good about ourselves. 

How to use: Jasmine being a rather expensive oil is best used as a rollon.

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Sweet marjoram decreases negative vibrations, by inspiring joy, soothes and nurtures. It is calming and increases trust and helps to collapse the walls and protection we may have erected around our heart, and helps us to connect. Its gentle warmth encourages us to be more loving to ourselves in difficult times. Marjoram has long been associated with Aphrodite as a symbol of love. It is both strengthening and relaxing. According to Margaret Ann Lembo, marjoram "helps you to speak your truth with love and beauty".

How to use: Sweet marjoram is a versatile oil, great for the bath (up to 10 drops in 1/2 to 1 cup epsom salts), used as a perfume (diluted at 3%), in a diffuser or in a body oil at 1 to 2% for after the shower or as a massage oil.

Ylang ylang is a great oil for gratitude and happiness and is believed to be an aphrodisiac as it helps increase trust and empathy. It helps to soften and dissolve the walls we sometimes erect around our heart. According to Gabriel Mojay, Ylang ylang "like Jasmine, helps to reunite our emotional and sensual natures" and without this our "emotions cannot flow and tend to "dry up" and jasmine "allows us to inwardly unify and so outwardly merge".  Margaret Ann Lembo writes that ylang ylang helps in "seeing love, feeling love, being love and encouraging loving thoughts for yourself and others".

How to use: Ylang ylang also can be used in almost any way. It is great for the bath (up to 10 drops in 1/2 to 1 cup epsom salts), used as a perfume (diluted at 3%), in a diffuser or in body oil at 1 to 2% for after the shower or as a massage oil.

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Melissa soothes, strengthens and according to Robbi Zeck "softens extreme emotions and gladdens the heart", is uplifting and encouraging and is the oil for gratitude. It encourages us to be grateful for all that we have. 

How to use: Melissa being rather expensive is best used after the shower or for massage, diluted in body oil or to inhale with 1 drop on a tissue. 

Bergamot is uplifting and is a great oil for self acceptance, self love & self worth. It helps to release negative emotions, lack of worthiness, hopelessness and helps us to love unconditionally. Bergamot also helps us to let go of fear and promotes compassion. It is calming, and great at raising levels of joy.

How to use: Bergamot can be used in almost anyway. It is great for the bath (up to 8 drops in 1/2 to 1 cup epsom salts), used as a perfume (diluted at 3%), in a diffuser or in body oil diluted at 1 to 2% for after the shower or as a massage oil. If you don't have the FCF version, then don't apply the oil if you are going out in the sun as bergamot creates photosensitivity.

Frankincense increases our sense of being loved. according to Robbi Zeck it "brings stability and insulation when the landscape of the heart is feeling vulnerable". Margaret Ann Lembo states that it helps to raise compassion and love. 

How to use: Frankincense is great for the bath (up to 8 drops in 1/2 to 1 cup epsom salts), used as a perfume (diluted at 3%), in a diffuser or in a body oil diluted at 1 to 2% for after the shower or as a massage oil.

Benzoin has warming qualities and according to Gabriel Mojay, it is "associated with the astrological Venus, planet of love, its warm, sweet, nourishing quality feeds and inspires our ability to nurture, to comfort both self and others. 

How to use: Benzoin can be a little skin sensitising so is best used in the diffuser. 

When we go to our real essence, we will see that we are truly LOVE. It takes a lot to peel back to that simple essence but LOVE indeed is what it is. So we need to do whatever in order to get back to that most basic essence of what we are and aromatherapy is a really wonderful and joyful tool for that.

In addition to essential oils, affirmations are also a great tool for working on yourself and work really well to help open the heart. 

Affirmations for opening the heart

I deeply and completely love and accept myself

As I open my heart, my world expands

Love flows freely through me to allow love into my life

I trust my heart and follow my intuition

My heart is open to give and receive love

I am a loving person

I am love

I am surrounded by people who love and respect me

And let's finish with some quotes about love.

"Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit". Khalil Gibran

"Wherever you are, and whatever you do, be in love". Rumi. 


Margaret Ann Lembo (2016) The essential guide to aromatherapy and vibrational healing. Llewellyn.

Gabriel Mojay (2005) Aromatherapy for healing the spirit. Gaia. 

Robbi Zeck (2018) The blossoming heart. Aromatherapy for healing and transformation. Aroma Tours.


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